Wednesday, March 7, 2012

It's Not Easy To Be Me

Mode: Separuh jiwaku pergi

Dah beberapa hari, the days continue raining...seperti'y mengerti rs hati ini.....N3 nieh, biarkan aku merapu tanpa henti....m'gunakan bhs mat saleh yg konon2 aku nieh teror giler nk berspeaking! smlm aku dpt pm dlm fb....ader org igt aku da kawen! oh NO! am i...am i....am i.......wut shud ai do? aku rs aku x dela gumOk mana pOwn! tp, nape plak dia kater aku da tawen....uwaaaaaa.....otuke? biarlah, #sukahati-kaulah-nak! x koser mak nk pk pjg2...

These days, fikiran agak b'celaru...x tau knp! & agak t'ngiang2 jugak lah word kawan aku pasal tanda2 sihir tuh duk berlegar2 dlm kepala otak! haih! tp, mls nk amek port sgt! sbb rs mcm nothing happend! hopefully NO lah...bak kater kawan aku yg lain, tanda tuh mgkin sbb stress! okeh, point that! no wonder rs mcm nk nangis jer.....tp x de reason pOwn nk nanges, aper kes?

Plus-minus...frens yg lately agak merapu! ntahhape2.....ker, mmg aku ader wat salah! hadoiyai!...am i? am i? am i? tp, bila aku tanyer, kate'y x de pape plak! hisy! #tensimaknak! mulalah rs nk deactive all the account! tp bukan bank accountlah.....klu deactive bank account, matiklah haku! sape nk sponsor hidup ni lagi klu bukan rezeki dr Ilahi! Hr ni dah 9 mac, tp ni br N3 kedua for thiz month! bz? hurm.....dunno how to say! tgh cuba memperbaiki diri.....tgh cuba praktikkan cara hidup sihat! kerana, diri ini makin lama makin nk dekat dgn mati.....oleh kerana hidup b'seorangan lagi, kene pandai2lah jaga diri......berpantun 10 kerat pulak aku hr ini....

For those frens.....to whom it may concern, this is myself.....which is, byk kali dah aku kater, aku tetap mcm dulu.....dun judge me by my appearnce! sbb aku masih mencuba utk jd yg baik2, utk aku synchronizekan dgn semua benda.....i need time! yes, people change, but not in a blink rite! time...time...time! Selama ni, aku cuba take positive....& anggap semua'y sbg salah satu cabaran yg aku kene hadapi! but, aku jugak manusia biasa, yg kdg2 aku rs down! & there's nobody by my side! itu aku x kesah, or by my casual word..."aku dah biasa sorg2...." even klu org tye, nk jer aku jawab, "x nampak Allah teman aku?" tuh ayat mencikkkkk+geram! tp x pernah terkeluar lagi dr mulut aku....mcm biasa, aku diam....diam......diam! Thiz is who i am.....x kesah nk pk aku camne....tuh hak masing2 kan! cuma, this is my own path...this is the way yg aku pilih! klu rs x sesuai dgn aku, x selesa dgn aku, yes, u can move on! x kesah! brp byk yg menjauhkan diri, mls dah aku nk amek peduli....."naseb baek ko x start pakai camni time wedding aku!" ayat nieh pOwn aku pernah accept! & im wondering, why they can't accept that?

Okeh, need to go! Hujan rahmat, terus membasahi bumi.......






2 comments:

  1. pedulik hape org nk ckp..yg penting ko ade aku ngeeeeee~~aku kwn ko..
    kenduri aku mesti cuti 1 week..sekian

    ReplyDelete
  2. x koser! bila nk wat big day? aku nk suh bos anta aku pi oversea that time! lalalala

    ReplyDelete

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